Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
