I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
