It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
