I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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