Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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