called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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