i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
