I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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