its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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