I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
