you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
