A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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