I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
