i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
