make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
