am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
