hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
