So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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