Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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