I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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