GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
