He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
