didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
