Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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