6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I understand Curling. That high.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
there is puke in my bra ... again
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
