shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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