Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
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