2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
