I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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