Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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