she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
