i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
