I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
