i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
thus making me awesome and them whores
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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