Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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