dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
