You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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