Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
