Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
My life is pants optional.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
