My boss' voice literally gives me gas
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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