i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
