My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Randomize
