i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
