she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
