Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
