you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
