What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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