Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
