Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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