he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
