everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
